The sign read “Welcome to Jamestown, ND, home of the World’s Largest Buffalo.” At 26 feet tall and 60 tons, the concrete buffalo statue is unquestionably big. But world’s largest? Certainly humanity possesses the engineering capability to build an even larger buffalo. I know the Burj Khalifa Tower in Dubai rises 2,717 feet in height. With all that’s at stake, I worried for a moment that civilization might be teetering on the precipice of a largest buffalo arms race; with town after town rushing to build ever larger bison for the purposes of, well, what exactly?
It turns out that there is a niche travel industry dedicated to various “world’s largest” roadside attractions. There are literally hundreds of them. I don’t really get it, but I imagine there are plenty of teetotalers who don’t understand why we’d want to visit brewery, after distillery, after vineyard, after brewery. To each their own, I guess.
In that spirit of comity and good will towards man, I’ve compiled an abbreviated list of “world’s largest” attractions for anyone who’s interested. For everyone else, I promise to never write about these kinds of things ever again.
Beaver - Alberta, Canada (it’s probably best to not search Google for this one)
Six Pack - La Crosse, WI
Boot - Minnesota, MN
Ball of Twine - Cawker City, KS
World’s Largest Douche - Summit, NJ
World - Wellesley, MA (not including the one you’re standing on, I guess)
Catsup Bottle - Collinsville, IL
Starship Enterprise - Vulcan, Alberta, Canada
Nose and Glasses - Michigan City, IN
Shuttlecock - Kansas City, MO