In youth, the world is wide open. Life is about trying new things, pushing boundaries, discovering limits, and exploring a planet that is ripe with possibility. As time passes we surround ourselves increasingly with comforts and lose interest in discovery. Our propensity for boldness atrophies. Our longing to see around the next corner gradually succumbs to fear of the unknown. Our world shrinks.
It doesn’t have to.
Our tendency to become more fearful with age is a real, potentially debilitating, force. I’ve seen it at work in others and felt it in myself. Things I once did routinely now elicit feelings of apprehension. The irony is that this is exactly the opposite of how a rational person should feel.
You’ve never had less to lose
If we value our lives by the number of days we have left to spend, we’ve never been poorer than we are right now. We’ve never had less to lose. We can’t possibly know how many days are left in our future, but we know with certainty that there is one fewer today than yesterday. And yet somehow we were bolder, more willing to take risks, yesterday.
They say that with years come wisdom. But instead of wisdom I see familiarity masquerading as safety. We feel safe in our houses, in our community, maybe even in our country. The world outside these self-declared boundaries meanwhile is foreign, and scary. At least that is how we perceive the world.
But there is no reason to believe the things with which we are familiar are actually more safe. Often they’re not. The most dangerous thing most of us will do in our lifetime is strap our bodies into an automobile and hurtle down a freeway at high speeds with opposing traffic a few short meters to the left. We feel completely comfortable doing this. Why?
Driving is far more dangerous
In 2010 there were 32,700 traffic fatalities in the U.S., compared with two deaths from shark attacks and zero airline fatalities. We are three times more likely to die in a car crash than we are from violent crime; yet we’re often more afraid of standing in a strange part of town than we are of driving there. We fear the unknown even when the familiar is more dangerous.
If we can become fearless in the driver’s seat, we can be fearless in almost every other situation we’re likely to face. The key is repetition. We don’t fear driving because we do it all the time. Whatever apprehension we may have felt once is overcome by years of experience and practice. We gain confidence in our abilities. Every successful trip reinforces those feelings.
That is a powerful reason to go out and do things, especially things that feel a little scary. By staying active and stretching our comfort zone we not only broaden our skills and bolster our self confidence, but we push back against fears that, left unchecked, only grow over time. Instead of aging into a shrinking world, we rediscover the wide open one of our youth.
Today is the first day of the New Year, and the first day of the rest of your life. Resolve to do something that scares you.
Image courtesy of Mika Hirsimaki
This old wandering/wondering broad heartily agrees. On my 70th birthday I jumped out of an airplane. They say adrenaline wakes up the brain.
Ahhhh, Love It! In an early draft of the article I said something about people who jump out of airplanes like that. I’ve yet to make the jump, but I’m going to eventually. Just have to find the right spot.
Brian. I’ve been following you for a couple of weeks and especially love this post. Powerfull stuff! I linked Fearless to my blog. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Larry
Awesome. Links and sharing are the currency bloggers get paid in (it certainly ain’t cash). Thanks for starting 2012 off on a prosperous note.
Yes – I agree with your sentiments – we must escape our comfort zones – if we are to discover anything new about ourselves – and traveling (or transmigrating) to new lands and/or cultures is one of the best way to achieve this… the possibilities become endless.. as does our spirit’s will to explore not only the world – but ourselves… and who we are…
Nicely said. We can’t grow if we don’t change. Thanks for your comment.
Most people fear something unfamiliar…this relates to interaction with people who are not from your own zone as well as unfamiliar foods. It does not have to be an adrenaline rush that needs courage…it may be just entering a new experience as simple as going to an art museum or listening to a classical concert.
Absolutely. This blog is mostly about travel so this post comes at the topic from that perspective. But it applies equally well to all aspects of life. Too often fear and doubt hold us back from living the life we want and from becoming the people we want to be.
A great example is freelance writing. Shannon is often approached by people who have a story or book idea. They want to get it published but they’re afraid of actually submitting it to an editor or an agent. Rejection is hard. But it’s something you have to risk if you want to be a writer.
More generally, how many people never achieve the success they’re capable of because they’re afraid of failure? Far too many I think.
I’m totally risk averse, but I like your style of thinking. Can’t think of anything scary I want to do.
Brian,
Happy New Year. This post is brilliant for many reasons but I can personally attest to the truth of it based on the three weeks I just spent in New Orleans.
First I rented a furnished room from someone I didn’t know- something that turned out to be the best decision I made for myself. In addition to only spending $700 for 3 weeks lodging in NoLa, I grounded myself in a neighborhood.
Next, I traveled by myself which gave me SO many opportunities to meet others. As a writer, there is no greater chance for inspiration than other people’s stories. Also, you are forced to get around and find your way by talking to others. Many times people travel in pairs, sightsee together, eat together and never have time alone. I suggest taking at least a few hours in a strange place to be on your own and navigate and see how different your perspective becomes.
I invite your blog readers interested in this idea to check out some of my NoLa posts that speak to this.
You guys have the right idea on this, but I also agree it can be a little scary. But putting one foot in front of the other and just doing it will take the edge off the fear almost immediately.
All the best,
Carol
That looks like amazing fun! Driving in Italy is a big enough challenge for me.
This is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing.
brilliant pic!
I absolutely love this, thankyou. x
Brian, what a wonderful reminder as we start another year of the importance of getting out and pushing your limits. Whether it is trying a new food, changing careers, or jumping from a plane you have the opportunity to discover a new passion and follow your heart instead of your fear.
We love this attitude and try to follow the advice each day of our lives. We’ll be spending the day reminding ourselves of this approach and instilling it in each day.
Hi Warren. Keep on living the dream!
Loved this. A great reminder to go and do. Happy New Year!
Thanks, You have a new follower!
Welcome aboard!!
But you have it all written down. If you wanted you could publish the whole thing! You have your book.Happy travels to the both of you.
Ecellent post ,, very relevant in my life right now…
Thanks, Mark
Love this! It makes me want to go out and take a chance. It is funny when you think about driving and how dangerous and fearful we should be of it, and yet, we do it everyday.